are you still at the devil's house?
i just had sex bonerless
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
