people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
