love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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