He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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