I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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