thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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