any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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