He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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