totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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