that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
