we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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