Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
