I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
