i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
