I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
