You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can I color on your dick again?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
