i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
