I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
