I think my fart just growled at me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
