there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
barbara walters just said penis...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
