so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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