can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i think we sleep fucked last night...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
