I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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