it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize