just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh god it's open bar.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize