this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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