so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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