nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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