It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize