That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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