i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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