Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
