The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need to calm my uterus...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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