you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
