i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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