Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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