i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize