Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
