i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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