woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
