Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize