Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
