Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
try to milk me bitch
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
