Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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