I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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