question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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