If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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