i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
