Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
