Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
