If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
