My boss' voice literally gives me gas
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
