Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
PANTIES FOUND
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