Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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