he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
