dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
