And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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