had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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