It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
