Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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