never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
