I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
