Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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