Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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