Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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